- Identical!! -

Monochorionic twins generally have two amniotic sacs (called Monochorionic-Diamniotic "MoDi"), which occurs in 60–70% of the pregnancies with monozygotic twins (identical twins) . Monochorionic-Diamniotic twins are almost always monozygotic, with a few exceptions where the blastocysts have fused.

Make sense? I had to look up almost every other word! But in the long run it means identical twins in two separate sacs. That's what my Dr told my last Friday when I went in for my 6 week postpartum appointment. So there you have it... Identical! How sure are we? My Dr says he is about 90% sure that they are MoDi. Is that good enough for me? Yes, yes it is! Why?

Because I'm sick of having the "Um, I don't know!" face when people ask me. "How do you NOT know?" or "Well were they in one or two sacs?" are the responses I always get from people. And I really hate going into the whole "well this doctor said one thing and another doctor said this etc etc..." Because people don't care what the doctors say. As soon as I mention that they were in 2 sacs, everyone snaps back.. "Well then they are fraternal." So I'm just done. I'm gonna stick with my doctor! We may have the girls tested later, but for now.. Identical!

The rest of the appointment went well. My incision has healed nicely and Dr Kaelberer says I look great! I'm actually 3 lbs lighter than what I was before I got pregnant!! Who knew? I had to get pregnant with twins to lose weight. He also said that if I continue to nurse, the weight will continue to drop. Of course I have to eat healthy and try to get some exercise. Which I'm going to really try to start doing!

My body type/shape has completely changed since I've had the girls. I now have way bigger boobs and my stomach hasn't tightened just yet. So yes, my stomach is just loose skin that hangs, mega gross!! So none of my pre pregnancy clothes fit or look good on me anymore! It's very frustrating! However, Erica, Kalie and I did hit up Kohl's the other day and they helped me pick out a few new shirts to compliment my new shape! It was a lot of fun! I'm hoping to just keep losing and getting more active so that I'll be able to keep up with these girls...

Our next stop will be the girls 2 month appointment, which is just around the corner! They'll be 8 weeks next Sunday, CRAZY!! I'm very excited to see how much weight they've gained! Hopefully nursing has been enough!

But before their 2 month appointment, we've got Pine Valley over the 24th with my family! Oh I'm so excited!! This is going to be a much needed 4 day weekend! Kelly and I plan on leaving late Wednesday night so we can have at least 3 full days before coming home on Sunday. I'm also excited to see all of the family! Pine Valley is another world! I have so many great memories from childhood and now as an adult! It's a Snow Family Tradition for the 24th of July and I'm happy to continue the tradition with our small family! The girls may not be able to participate in the races this year, but we'll have fun anyways!

SUPER EXCITED for this next weekend!! I'll be seeing most of you soon. But for the rest, have a Happy 24th!!

I want them BACK!

I want my boobs back. That's right, my boobs! T.M.I? Sorry it's how I feel. They are no longer just eye candy. :)

Nowadays, they aren't mine. They belong to the girls. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls and I don't blame them. I just don't like the pain. The cracked nipples, poor latches, engorgement! Will it get better as they get older or worse? Getting older means a better understanding and better latching... however, doesn't that also mean more pain? And what about when they start getting teeth. OMG! I hate thinking about it.

I know I should NEVER wish for the girls to be bigger, because I will regret it. They'll end up growing up too fast. But when can I start with rice cereal? 4-6 months? How long do you nurse? Until about 12 months? I haven't even been doing this for 2 full months and I'm already complaining. Please don't think ill of me... I shouldn't be selfish! My girls need me! And if nursing is the best thing for them... then I'll deal through my problems.

Thank God for the pump. At least I can get a break every once in awhile. My next obstacle is to start pumping and saving for when I go back to work. Because I'm feeding two girls at once, the only time I can pump is after the feedings. However, it's not that much because the girls pretty much take it all. That's my biggest worry right now. Going back to work. Will I still be waking up 3 times a night to feed them? Will I have enough milk to start? Will I be able to pump at work? So much to worry about!!

Alright, I'm done complaining. Sorry about the personal post. I just had to get it off my chest. Ha Ha, CHEST!! :)

| 1 Month Old |

Avie and Ella

Can you believe it? Our precious baby girls are already 1 month old! And what a month it has been...

It's been hard, I won't lie. But there has been so good times as well. The girls sleeping schedule is still backwards. Sleep all day, awake all night. I've been trying to keep them awake more during the day, but that's better said than done. I don't know how other Moms with twins do it. It's really hard to handle two babies at once. But I'm trying. They also like to take turns as far as who is going to be the pain of the evening. Avie will wake up every 3 hours with Ella sound asleep, but then the next time it will be reversed. I feel so bad for the sleeping baby, waking them up to eat. But gotta keep them on the same eating schedule.

Their eating schedule seems to be the only thing that I've mastered. They are both starting to eat better and I think they are going through a growth spurt. They no longer eat every 4 hours, but every 2-3 hours. In the beginning, I had designated one side to a baby for nursing. They just seemed to favor one side. Avie latches on really well and is an excellent eater but Ella has a little harder time with nursing, she doesn't have the best latch. But I'm trying to work on that. Not only for her sake, but for mine... Can you say OUCH! However, I'm now starting to alternate. It's been hard with the difference in milk supply, but we'll get there. Both are gaining weight, so that's a good thing!! I'm not sure how much Ella is now. She weighed 6lbs 1oz at her 2 week appt and seems to be getting bigger. Avie was 7lbs 4oz when we saw the Dr last Thursday. She is a chunk!! But they are both still so small. I have no idea what I'm gonna do when they get bigger like 10 lbs each. It will be weird.

They are both so different! Avie loves to cuddle, she always has to be held. Ella is more independent, but still likes the occasional cuddle. Ella's cry is screeching death, while Avie's is deeper. Both girls like to pee on you when you change their diapers or right when you put on a clean one. Ella doesn't like to have messy diapers often and it worries me. However she has plenty of wet ones so she isn't dehydrated. Kalie loves to help out! Ella enjoys it when Kalie rubs her stomach.

I'm hoping that the next month is better. We'll be working on their sleeping schedules and perfecting nursing. We'll be headed down to Pine Valley with family over the 24th of July and I can't wait. I just hope we make some progress before we go down.

I've ordered some books online... one to help with the sleeping schedule and then one for help nursing and more. I can't wait until they can be more alert so it's easier to keep them awake during the day.

Let's see what the next month brings!!

Primary Children's Visit

Our little Avie Bug...

Avie had a Dr appointment this morning to double check a heart murmur that they noticed at last weeks visit. Our pediatrician was still hearing her heart murmur and was seeing some heavy breathing. So to be on the cautious side, she sent us up to Primary Children's Hospital.

3 hours later and after an Echo, Xray and ECG... The Dr told us that Avie is perfectly healthy! I'm so glad that I was in panic mode, witnessing my little girl go through test after test to find out that she is okay.

What IS wrong?! Well, the Dr wrote down the technical term, but I'll have to explain it anyways. It turns out that Avie's pulmonary artery is narrow, so it makes a sound when the blood runs through it. The Dr said it's common in preemies and that 99% of the time, it fixes on it's own. She also has a valve that is a little bigger than normal in the right side of her heart. But Dr says that 95% of babies with this problem, it fixes itself within the first year.

So that's the plan... Go back up to Primary's when Avie is a year old. But until then, she's perfect! All I know is that I do NOT want to have another day like today!!

Worst part of today! Conversation with a mother in radiology.

Woman: Your daughter is beautiful. What is she here for?

Me: We are checking on her heart murmur.

Woman: Really? That's what my son had. He ended up having a heart transplant a few weeks ago.. He's 4 months old.

Me: [ mouth wide open... hands start shaking... PANIC ]

THANK YOU stranger! Why don't you choose your words a little more wisely when talking to a new mother!

Happy Father's Day!

Today was a beautiful day!!

It didn't start out wonderful... the girls didn't have the best night last night. They weren't fussy, they just didn't seem to want to sleep. Typical!

But even with little sleep, Kelly was able to enjoy his first Father's Day! Yard work, which is his favorite and then celebrating over at Dad's house for a BBQ! It was so nice to get out of the house. It's really the first time I've done something since I've had the girls... which is sad to say, because they are 3 weeks old today! Crazy, right?

The girls enjoyed the sun and I was able to snap a few photos with the help of the family!

Happy Father's Day!!

First Family Photo

Our Girls, Ella & Avie!

The proud parents!

Ella (our turtle)

Avie (our frog)

Loved by Grandma and Grandpa!

Photos?!

I'm a terrible mother! I never take photos of the girls... but I hope to start going picture crazy this week.

I don't want to miss out on any photo ops! Especially because the girls are already growing up so fast! We've moved on to newborn diapers! Bye Bye Premies!!

I don't know where the camera is... or else I'd put up a few candids. But tomorrow is Father's Day, our first!! I promise I'll go camera crazy and post some pictures soon!

Hope all is well! Love to all!!

Girl Buzz

Today I allowed Erica to buzz the girls heads...

Yup, my girls now look like cancer patients. It was really hard to watch and even harder now to see them bald. I was really afraid that it would hurt the girls, but Erica did a great job. It actually put both of them to sleep.

Why on earth did we do this? With Erica being an amazing hairstylists, she is in the "know." Buzzing the girls hair off will now allow it to grow in evenly and possibly thicker. Was it so wrong of me to do this? I don't think so. The girls were already starting to lose some of their hair, which newborns tend to do. They'll just need to wear some headbands and bows for the next 6 months. No worries! Kalie and Erica made plenty of those! Plus I have Erica's guarantee that this is going to work. If it doesn't, Erica swore to buy them wigs for the rest of their lives and that I can hate her for all eternity. I trust her... It's just sad to see my girls with no hair!

I know many of you who read this will think I'm crazy and wonder how the hell I could do something like this to my little baby girls. I'm taking a chance! With how thin my hair is and non existent KJ's is, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help my girls grow thicker, more even hair!

Call me crazy... wouldn't be the first time.

one step at a time

What a difference a day makes...

It's been a roller coaster of emotions lately, but I can see the light. I know that it's still going to have it's down moments, but I think I'm ready for it.

What have I done differently? Well, I've actually started to sleep when the girls are sleeping. If not sleep, I rest... take it easy with just laying on the couch and catching up on my Boy Meets World episodes. It's been really easy to rest with my Mom here with me this week. She's been handling all of the cooking and cleaning, which has been so helpful!

I've also made the decision to nurse for the night time, early morning feedings. I've been pumping and then bottle feeding the girls at night with Kelly, but they just didn't seem to like it. They would fuss more, not go back to sleep and it would frustrate both Kelly and I. With me nursing at night, they seem to get more of the comfort feel. Also, I haven't had to wake Kelly up for his help the past 2 nights, which means he has been getting 6-7 hours of solid sleep. I can't believe how happy that makes me. I didn't realize how important that was to me until it happened. Kelly is working 10-12 hours a day and it's hard labor. He's out there providing for our little family. I think because of that, I can handle the night shift alone.

We are also trying to change the girls awake/sleep schedule. We've kept them in as much light as possible during the day and no light at night. We've also stopped bundling them up all tight during the day, saving that for a night time comfort. TUMMY TIME!! More and more of tummy time each day. If you read my Facebook status yesterday, you will know that Ella rolled over yesterday, from tummy to back. Avie is getting really close. Both girls love sticking their butts in the air as well as pushing their heads with their arms. It's amazing at how much they learn... Better enjoy them this small, because people are right. They grow up so fast!!

Yesterday we also had both umbilical cords fall off. Avie's came first while Ella's fell off shortly after. Hers falling off was much more eventful. Erica was nice enough to offer to change Ella's diaper and that was followed by a scream I heard from the kitchen. There is Erica acting all squeamish and asking Kelly to switch her babies, switch her babies! Apparently when Erica went to remove Ella's diaper, the cord fell off and fell onto her leg. She flipped! It was pretty funny to watch!!

Both girls are doing fine. I could just stare at them all day long! Ella is such a good sleeper and Avie likes to pee over everything.

Which leads me to a great question. When you know the girls are in need of a diaper change, when do you change them? My guess would be right away... but not with my girls!! It seems that every time we go to change their diapers something happens. We usually always hear a wet fart come from Ella as soon as she gets a new diaper on. And Avie... oh Avie!! The moment you start to wipe her off she pees and poops all over you, the couch, your clothes... everywhere. So I don't get it. They NEED a diaper change, but the moment we do it, the mess all over us or they need another one seconds later. Let's just say we've been going through premie diapers like crazy the past couple of days...

I really need to get camera happy! We miss so many cute moments... Ella makes the best KJ faces and loves playing the air guitar and Avie has the biggest eyes! Oh I LOVE THESE GIRLS!!

So that was my rants and ravings for the day. Things are slowing getting better... however I'm not looking forward to the crying getting worse. I hope our roommates don't hate us! I'm looking forward to Father's Day and spending time with the family. But also looking forward to our visit to Pine Valley over the 24th of July!

Taking it day by day!!

10 Days Old!

I can't believe the girls are 10 days old!

We went to see the pediatrician today, Dr Lynch. She's only met the girls twice, but she knows them really well. She can even tell them apart which most people can't. Both girls are healthy and looking good. Although Avie seemed a little yellow, so she did have to get tested for jaundice again. Unlucky for her, they also needed to get their PKU, so both of her heels were pricked. Very hard to watch and listen to them cry. But they both are pretty good with it... I think because they were tested so many times for their blood sugar in the hospital.

Weight Status: Both are doing great!

Ella:

Born @ 5 lbs 5 oz

Left hospital @ 4 lbs 15 oz

Today @ 5 lbs 7 oz

It's great to see that she's past her birth weight.

Avie:

Born @ 6 lbs even

Left hospital @ 5 lbs 7 oz

Today @ 5 lbs 15 oz

She's only 1 oz away from birth weight, Go Avie!

I'm doing good. However I'm still not sleeping... With my Mom here with me during the day, I really should be sleeping while the girls do, but it's hard. I'm such a worry wart. I really need to sleep during the day so that I can get up with them at night. Kelly is back to work (10-12 hr days) so I really don't want to interrupt his sleep.

We'll be going back to the Dr next week to check up on the girls weight and possible postpartum depression for me. Yea, I know. Sucks! I'm just very emotional. The Dr said that with the hormones, it's normal to see that within the first 2 weeks of giving birth. But if it last longer we definitely want to get it checked out.

Pictures are courtesy of Erica's photo shoot with them. She did an amazing job! However it was hard for me to watch/participate because I felt like the girls were in pain being put into certain positions. The tutu photos are my favorite and I'll be putting them in the nursery.

This is my Ella and my Avie!

Miss Ella & Miss Avie

Ella Rae ----------- Avie Joy

5 lbs 5 oz ---------- 6 lbs Even

20 inches --------- 19 inches

May 30th 2010

10:51 pm 10:52 pm

Sunday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the Blackstrom household was enjoying the day outside. Kelly working in the lawn, Joe sharpening his "watermelon knife," and Erica painting my toenails while I enjoyed a bag of BBQ Lays. Seems like an normal day right? Well it wasn't and it would be a day that we will never forget!

What made this day different was that I knew something was off... I hadn't felt the girls move since the night before and I was experiencing back pain that I've never had before. After conversations with friends and family, I was convinced that should go into the hospital to be checked out. Kelly kept telling me that I was psyching myself out, so we headed over to Mom's house for her Memorial Day BBQ as if nothing was wrong. But we didn't last there long... After talking to Kalie, Erica and Amanda I finally decided that going to the hospital was the best idea. Better safe than sorry!

So we checked in at around 5:30 and was immediately hooked up to a heart monitor. After the first hour of being monitored, I was still only dilated to 1.5 and 60% effaced, but my contractions were becoming more frequent and they started to really hurt. When the nurse came in to check me, I mentioned that I was in a lot of pain, more so than when we first arrived. Because I mentioned this, hospital policy was to watch me for another hour to see if anything progressed. Kelly was a little irritated at this point, but I had to speak up if I was in pain. So another hour passed... still only dilated to 1.5 however I was now 65% effaced. Because of this, I had to be monitored for another hour. At this point my pain was so terrible that the nurse gave me a morphine shot to help, which to be honest.. it really didn't. So by 9 o'clock after 3 hours of monitoring, the nurse came to check on me for the last time. I was 2.5 cm dilated and 85% effaced.

This was it!! The nurse came back with the Dr on call and they immediately went into preparation mode. Kelly and I got really emotional knowing that this was it! We were having our babies!

Things went by very quickly after that. The nurse gave me my IV, Kelly was putting on his scrubs and my Dr was being called in. I was so scared and couldn't stop shaking. I knew this was coming eventually, but the thought of having a c-section all of the sudden became the scariest thing ever. My Dr and I hadn't even gone over how this would all play out, so being wheeled into the OR was very overwhelming. A cold room with a steel bed and lights everywhere only made my heart race more. I was placed on the table and given my epidural, which is really the weirdest feeling ever. Then you know what happens from there.

BABIES!! Ella came first at 10:51 pm and urinated on my Dr upon entry into the world. Avie was shortly after at 10:52 pm. I can only say that not being able to see what was going on but to hear the girls cry for the first time was the most emotional experience! After about a hour of recovery, we were taken to our room where my family was waiting.

The next 4 days were stressful, exciting, emotional and tiring. Both girls had low blood sugar and we really needed to make sure that they were getting enough food. I felt so bad every time the girls came back from their testing... their poor feet being pricked with needles multiple times. I probably got 2 hours of sleep each day, so 8 in total. It's kinda hard to sleep when you are constantly being bothered by nurses, have to keep up with the girls feeding and then of course worrying about them every second of the day. The recovery hasn't been terrible.. but I can't wait to feel myself again. Moving around is a little hard with my incision and the fact that my feet and ankles have swollen up like balloons. After a few nights of low blood sugar, the girls were finally able to get those numbers up and we were able to leave Thursday.

We were very anxious to get home and start our own routine. However, it's kinda scary going home with little ones... You are on your own!! The great thing is that I won't have to go back to work until the first week of September. So for the next 3 months we'll be trying to perfect my parenting skills. The girls are already doing well with nursing, but I must admit it can get very frustrating. I need to be more patient. However I do have the pump to help, which has been very nice!

It's amazing at how your life changes... What mattered before, doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters are those little girls! I worry about them constantly and it's killing my sleep. I really need to start sleeping when they are so I can get my strength back. I just want my family to know how thankful Kelly and I are for the support we've been given. From hospital visits, taking care of my husband and bringing us dinner. It's been so nice! Everyone has been so willing to help and it means so much!

We'll keep in touch, hopefully more so now that I'm out of the hospital. I hope everyone is doing well!

**I'm not the best at pictures... so forgive my lack of experience. I haven't bought the Baby Bella photos yet and I wanted a cute picture of them. Avie isn't really 10x bigger than Ella! Plus I couldn't get Ella to open her eyes, which isn't a big surprise. I think I'll get better at taking pictures because I want to capture everything!