A nice change of pace @ work!

Like the girl in the picture above... work has been a bore! It can get really tiring when you are doing the same thing day in and day out. Talking about the same situations with all owners, them complaining about yearly fees and no availability, it's hard.

But that's all about to change! Well, not really. I'm still going to be a Vacation Ownership Advisor (VOA), but I will have a few things that will break up my work week.

-Webinars
-IDEAS Committee
-Back Up Trainer

Webinars: Once in awhile, I'll be working on an online Webinar. I'll be on an online chat with Owners that are listening to a presentation. Basically to answer any questions that they may have during the session.

IDEAS Committee: This isn't a huge one. But I represent my team on the committee. The committee is just as it says. I gather ideas from my team about anything then take them to the committee who then decides on which ideas are good enough to take to corporate. At least that's what I think it's all about. I haven't been a member before, but we are meeting together next week.

Best of ALL! Back Up Trainer: Every time there is a new hire class, I'll be in there 2x a week helping out with any questions. They don't have classes all of the time, so it may only be a couple of times a year. But when I work only 3 weekdays, it will be awesome to have a break for 2 of them. Plus, I love helping others.. teaching. I mean, I always wanted to become a teacher, but was never motivated to go through with it. And I figure that I'll most likely be with Marriott for awhile and I would love to become a full time trainer one day, so this gets my foot in the door!

I am happy to report that I did work my 4 days last week!! Okay, well I did leave a little early on Wednesday because we had a WIC appointment.. and I left an hour early on Friday because it was so slow. But hey!, I'm just glad I made it to work those 4 days!!! Baby steps remember! One thing at a time! There is a new hire class staring on Monday the 28th, so hopefully getting in my full work hours won't be as bad for awhile, since I'll have a break 2x a week.

In other news... I think I'm done nursing. About a month ago, I started nursing only for morning and night feedings... but the girls aren't very nice anymore. They seem to bite me almost every time I try. They seem to online bite me during the night time feeding. Why, I don't know. But I'm terrified to even attempt to nurse now, so I think I'm just going to stop. I thought I would try again tonight, but Avie bit me. Worst thing EVER! We'll now have to buy a couple of extra cans of formula a month, but luckily WIC helps out with most of it.

That's pretty much it for now! Kelly is still home, no seizures since his last in December, so with Dr approval he should be back to work late March, early April. I can't wait for him to get back... he's starting to get cabin fever and it's driving us both nuts. Girls are great, we have their 9 month appointment next week so I'll be sure to update with stats!! Gotta get to bed! Work early tomorrow and then off to the Family Oscar Party!

Two Milestones!

The girls are getting so big and each day they surprise us with something new.

For the past few weeks, both girls have learned to wave Hi/Bye and they've both started to army crawl, Avie a little more then Ella. I finally decided to get them on video.
They're pretty cute!

Ella Waving!



Avie Army Crawling!

[ Flash Dance ]

Look at 'em, already playing charades! Pretty good right?!

They'll both be dancers... Avie will just prefer to dance around a pole! :P

Back at the Starting Line!

I'm so done with being weak and depressed. I missed a pill this week and I swear I can feel it. Plus Kelly and the girls have been sick. I've got some symptoms, but not terrible. So... I should be working right now. I know it, you know it. But I'm not. I'm home. I'm home regretting not getting to work today! Yes, we did have a bad night last night. But should that really be an excuse? No, it shouldn't. I need to realize that this is life. I'm a mother, a wife and now the soul bread winner for our small family. Kelly is collecting disability but not much.

I'm tired of disappointing my family, Kelly and my girls. I guess I can be lucky enough that the girls aren't old enough to really understand. I'm tired of being over weight. All the weight that I had lost after having the girls is now back. I hate how one day I will be okay with my size, but then the next day I can't even look myself in the mirror.

You would think that a sane person would be like "Okay, these are the things I need to fix. What can I do to accomplish that." And then they do them. At least that is what Kelly thinks. Which he is right. I don't want this post to turn into a pity party, like a few of my lasts posts. I want to fix everything!!

That is why, I, Andee Hellstrom, am making a promise to myself to FIX MY PROBLEMS! I'm considering these last few days as my last vacation until Memorial Day. I tried to pick up a few hours of work tomorrow, but surprisingly no one would give it up. So I start Sunday. I'm promising to myself that I will work my ENTIRE week shifts for the rest of this month and all of March. I would say until Memorial Day, but I don't want to get crazy. Start out small right?

I'm also using this as a time to start managing or losing weight. I need to get back on a daily routine of breakfast, lunch and dinner. No more soda or sugar drinks, water only! No more sweets and less junk/fast food if any at all. Plus, no eating after 8 o'clock. This is a big one! I think eating late is where all this weight as come back. Working late and then coming home to put the girls down to bed at 8, Kelly and I sometimes have dinner within minutes of going to bed. Plus the late night bowl of cereal.

This post is for myself. It's for me to actually write down what I want to do. I need to change and I know I've said it before. I'm sure many of you are rolling your eyes when you read this. Especially my family who knows that I haven't worked a full work week since probably before my pregnancy. (That isn't all true. I've worked a couple)

But I'm ready for a change. And even if I'm not, I can't afford not to be. I don't know why getting to work is so tough. When I get there it's fine. I love seeing my work friends and having some what of a social life outside of babies. But getting out of bed and making it to work is the hard part. I know I may be talking crazy, but I'm even going to try and work on my off days. Nothing big, maybe just 6:30-9:30 or something. I know that's a big jump, so I'm not promising anything... But I figure I should have been doing this ever since Kelly stopped working. With him home and a constant babysitter, I should have been trying to make as much money as possible. If I could go back, I would!

So there you have it. I know my problems and I'm admitting to them! I know what I have to do to get back on track and I hope I have the strength! I have an interview for Back Up Trainer on Monday and I'm going to try my HARDEST to get it. I figure if I get a Back Up position, it may break up my work week and going to work may not be as hard.

Thanks to all that have been supporting me! Family, friends, even those I don't talk to much anymore. It does make me happy to know that there are some people out there that understand what I'm going through. The hardest thing right now for me is to have people judge me. I know I may not be doing the right thing, but I'm not hurting anyone. Bills are getting paid, my family is being fed... I just need to grow up so that my family will still be okay if anything else were to happen.

You are ALL my witnesses!! I've put it out there for all to see. I'm going to change my life! It may not be the easiest thing I have to do, but I HAVE TO DO IT!

Thanks for listening. Sorry if you're bored with my life problems. This post again was more for my benefit. Now I'm going to try and enjoy the next two days as much as possible!! I've got a few chores to do and some birthday presents to buy. But back to work on Sunday!

Sunday, I start my 2011 all over! I'm putting myself back at the starting line!

P.S. I may blog about my progress. Again more for my benefit. Read along if you want, but feel free to just zone me out!

Is it wrong to feel this way?

Is it wrong to feel so lucky to have these adorable little girls?
Lucky that they were born both healthy and strong?
I love them so very much it's ridiculous! I don't know what I would do without them!

This Video Has It All!

It was just another typical morning. Happy, happy babies and so talkative. So I decided to get the camera out and see what they would do. I originally wanted to tape them saying "Da Da," which they both do now. The video is of some length and I'm sorry.
But it's got everything!!! 


You've got naked chics, "Da Da," sister rivalry, dancing, smiles, and rolling! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. You even get to hear my voice a lot, which isn't the best. Hopefully you'll be able to sit through the whole thing, because it's worth it!
At least I think so!