Happy Father's Day!

Today was a beautiful day!!

It didn't start out wonderful... the girls didn't have the best night last night. They weren't fussy, they just didn't seem to want to sleep. Typical!

But even with little sleep, Kelly was able to enjoy his first Father's Day! Yard work, which is his favorite and then celebrating over at Dad's house for a BBQ! It was so nice to get out of the house. It's really the first time I've done something since I've had the girls... which is sad to say, because they are 3 weeks old today! Crazy, right?

The girls enjoyed the sun and I was able to snap a few photos with the help of the family!

Happy Father's Day!!

First Family Photo

Our Girls, Ella & Avie!

The proud parents!

Ella (our turtle)

Avie (our frog)

Loved by Grandma and Grandpa!

Photos?!

I'm a terrible mother! I never take photos of the girls... but I hope to start going picture crazy this week.

I don't want to miss out on any photo ops! Especially because the girls are already growing up so fast! We've moved on to newborn diapers! Bye Bye Premies!!

I don't know where the camera is... or else I'd put up a few candids. But tomorrow is Father's Day, our first!! I promise I'll go camera crazy and post some pictures soon!

Hope all is well! Love to all!!

Girl Buzz

Today I allowed Erica to buzz the girls heads...

Yup, my girls now look like cancer patients. It was really hard to watch and even harder now to see them bald. I was really afraid that it would hurt the girls, but Erica did a great job. It actually put both of them to sleep.

Why on earth did we do this? With Erica being an amazing hairstylists, she is in the "know." Buzzing the girls hair off will now allow it to grow in evenly and possibly thicker. Was it so wrong of me to do this? I don't think so. The girls were already starting to lose some of their hair, which newborns tend to do. They'll just need to wear some headbands and bows for the next 6 months. No worries! Kalie and Erica made plenty of those! Plus I have Erica's guarantee that this is going to work. If it doesn't, Erica swore to buy them wigs for the rest of their lives and that I can hate her for all eternity. I trust her... It's just sad to see my girls with no hair!

I know many of you who read this will think I'm crazy and wonder how the hell I could do something like this to my little baby girls. I'm taking a chance! With how thin my hair is and non existent KJ's is, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help my girls grow thicker, more even hair!

Call me crazy... wouldn't be the first time.

one step at a time

What a difference a day makes...

It's been a roller coaster of emotions lately, but I can see the light. I know that it's still going to have it's down moments, but I think I'm ready for it.

What have I done differently? Well, I've actually started to sleep when the girls are sleeping. If not sleep, I rest... take it easy with just laying on the couch and catching up on my Boy Meets World episodes. It's been really easy to rest with my Mom here with me this week. She's been handling all of the cooking and cleaning, which has been so helpful!

I've also made the decision to nurse for the night time, early morning feedings. I've been pumping and then bottle feeding the girls at night with Kelly, but they just didn't seem to like it. They would fuss more, not go back to sleep and it would frustrate both Kelly and I. With me nursing at night, they seem to get more of the comfort feel. Also, I haven't had to wake Kelly up for his help the past 2 nights, which means he has been getting 6-7 hours of solid sleep. I can't believe how happy that makes me. I didn't realize how important that was to me until it happened. Kelly is working 10-12 hours a day and it's hard labor. He's out there providing for our little family. I think because of that, I can handle the night shift alone.

We are also trying to change the girls awake/sleep schedule. We've kept them in as much light as possible during the day and no light at night. We've also stopped bundling them up all tight during the day, saving that for a night time comfort. TUMMY TIME!! More and more of tummy time each day. If you read my Facebook status yesterday, you will know that Ella rolled over yesterday, from tummy to back. Avie is getting really close. Both girls love sticking their butts in the air as well as pushing their heads with their arms. It's amazing at how much they learn... Better enjoy them this small, because people are right. They grow up so fast!!

Yesterday we also had both umbilical cords fall off. Avie's came first while Ella's fell off shortly after. Hers falling off was much more eventful. Erica was nice enough to offer to change Ella's diaper and that was followed by a scream I heard from the kitchen. There is Erica acting all squeamish and asking Kelly to switch her babies, switch her babies! Apparently when Erica went to remove Ella's diaper, the cord fell off and fell onto her leg. She flipped! It was pretty funny to watch!!

Both girls are doing fine. I could just stare at them all day long! Ella is such a good sleeper and Avie likes to pee over everything.

Which leads me to a great question. When you know the girls are in need of a diaper change, when do you change them? My guess would be right away... but not with my girls!! It seems that every time we go to change their diapers something happens. We usually always hear a wet fart come from Ella as soon as she gets a new diaper on. And Avie... oh Avie!! The moment you start to wipe her off she pees and poops all over you, the couch, your clothes... everywhere. So I don't get it. They NEED a diaper change, but the moment we do it, the mess all over us or they need another one seconds later. Let's just say we've been going through premie diapers like crazy the past couple of days...

I really need to get camera happy! We miss so many cute moments... Ella makes the best KJ faces and loves playing the air guitar and Avie has the biggest eyes! Oh I LOVE THESE GIRLS!!

So that was my rants and ravings for the day. Things are slowing getting better... however I'm not looking forward to the crying getting worse. I hope our roommates don't hate us! I'm looking forward to Father's Day and spending time with the family. But also looking forward to our visit to Pine Valley over the 24th of July!

Taking it day by day!!

10 Days Old!

I can't believe the girls are 10 days old!

We went to see the pediatrician today, Dr Lynch. She's only met the girls twice, but she knows them really well. She can even tell them apart which most people can't. Both girls are healthy and looking good. Although Avie seemed a little yellow, so she did have to get tested for jaundice again. Unlucky for her, they also needed to get their PKU, so both of her heels were pricked. Very hard to watch and listen to them cry. But they both are pretty good with it... I think because they were tested so many times for their blood sugar in the hospital.

Weight Status: Both are doing great!

Ella:

Born @ 5 lbs 5 oz

Left hospital @ 4 lbs 15 oz

Today @ 5 lbs 7 oz

It's great to see that she's past her birth weight.

Avie:

Born @ 6 lbs even

Left hospital @ 5 lbs 7 oz

Today @ 5 lbs 15 oz

She's only 1 oz away from birth weight, Go Avie!

I'm doing good. However I'm still not sleeping... With my Mom here with me during the day, I really should be sleeping while the girls do, but it's hard. I'm such a worry wart. I really need to sleep during the day so that I can get up with them at night. Kelly is back to work (10-12 hr days) so I really don't want to interrupt his sleep.

We'll be going back to the Dr next week to check up on the girls weight and possible postpartum depression for me. Yea, I know. Sucks! I'm just very emotional. The Dr said that with the hormones, it's normal to see that within the first 2 weeks of giving birth. But if it last longer we definitely want to get it checked out.

Pictures are courtesy of Erica's photo shoot with them. She did an amazing job! However it was hard for me to watch/participate because I felt like the girls were in pain being put into certain positions. The tutu photos are my favorite and I'll be putting them in the nursery.

This is my Ella and my Avie!

Miss Ella & Miss Avie

Ella Rae ----------- Avie Joy

5 lbs 5 oz ---------- 6 lbs Even

20 inches --------- 19 inches

May 30th 2010

10:51 pm 10:52 pm

Sunday was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the Blackstrom household was enjoying the day outside. Kelly working in the lawn, Joe sharpening his "watermelon knife," and Erica painting my toenails while I enjoyed a bag of BBQ Lays. Seems like an normal day right? Well it wasn't and it would be a day that we will never forget!

What made this day different was that I knew something was off... I hadn't felt the girls move since the night before and I was experiencing back pain that I've never had before. After conversations with friends and family, I was convinced that should go into the hospital to be checked out. Kelly kept telling me that I was psyching myself out, so we headed over to Mom's house for her Memorial Day BBQ as if nothing was wrong. But we didn't last there long... After talking to Kalie, Erica and Amanda I finally decided that going to the hospital was the best idea. Better safe than sorry!

So we checked in at around 5:30 and was immediately hooked up to a heart monitor. After the first hour of being monitored, I was still only dilated to 1.5 and 60% effaced, but my contractions were becoming more frequent and they started to really hurt. When the nurse came in to check me, I mentioned that I was in a lot of pain, more so than when we first arrived. Because I mentioned this, hospital policy was to watch me for another hour to see if anything progressed. Kelly was a little irritated at this point, but I had to speak up if I was in pain. So another hour passed... still only dilated to 1.5 however I was now 65% effaced. Because of this, I had to be monitored for another hour. At this point my pain was so terrible that the nurse gave me a morphine shot to help, which to be honest.. it really didn't. So by 9 o'clock after 3 hours of monitoring, the nurse came to check on me for the last time. I was 2.5 cm dilated and 85% effaced.

This was it!! The nurse came back with the Dr on call and they immediately went into preparation mode. Kelly and I got really emotional knowing that this was it! We were having our babies!

Things went by very quickly after that. The nurse gave me my IV, Kelly was putting on his scrubs and my Dr was being called in. I was so scared and couldn't stop shaking. I knew this was coming eventually, but the thought of having a c-section all of the sudden became the scariest thing ever. My Dr and I hadn't even gone over how this would all play out, so being wheeled into the OR was very overwhelming. A cold room with a steel bed and lights everywhere only made my heart race more. I was placed on the table and given my epidural, which is really the weirdest feeling ever. Then you know what happens from there.

BABIES!! Ella came first at 10:51 pm and urinated on my Dr upon entry into the world. Avie was shortly after at 10:52 pm. I can only say that not being able to see what was going on but to hear the girls cry for the first time was the most emotional experience! After about a hour of recovery, we were taken to our room where my family was waiting.

The next 4 days were stressful, exciting, emotional and tiring. Both girls had low blood sugar and we really needed to make sure that they were getting enough food. I felt so bad every time the girls came back from their testing... their poor feet being pricked with needles multiple times. I probably got 2 hours of sleep each day, so 8 in total. It's kinda hard to sleep when you are constantly being bothered by nurses, have to keep up with the girls feeding and then of course worrying about them every second of the day. The recovery hasn't been terrible.. but I can't wait to feel myself again. Moving around is a little hard with my incision and the fact that my feet and ankles have swollen up like balloons. After a few nights of low blood sugar, the girls were finally able to get those numbers up and we were able to leave Thursday.

We were very anxious to get home and start our own routine. However, it's kinda scary going home with little ones... You are on your own!! The great thing is that I won't have to go back to work until the first week of September. So for the next 3 months we'll be trying to perfect my parenting skills. The girls are already doing well with nursing, but I must admit it can get very frustrating. I need to be more patient. However I do have the pump to help, which has been very nice!

It's amazing at how your life changes... What mattered before, doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters are those little girls! I worry about them constantly and it's killing my sleep. I really need to start sleeping when they are so I can get my strength back. I just want my family to know how thankful Kelly and I are for the support we've been given. From hospital visits, taking care of my husband and bringing us dinner. It's been so nice! Everyone has been so willing to help and it means so much!

We'll keep in touch, hopefully more so now that I'm out of the hospital. I hope everyone is doing well!

**I'm not the best at pictures... so forgive my lack of experience. I haven't bought the Baby Bella photos yet and I wanted a cute picture of them. Avie isn't really 10x bigger than Ella! Plus I couldn't get Ella to open her eyes, which isn't a big surprise. I think I'll get better at taking pictures because I want to capture everything!

36 Weeks

1 lb lost, 31 total gain

Contractions every 3-5 minutes

1.5 cm dilated

I swear I look bigger in person! But the date is set... June 14th, Monday at 5 pm. Unless I go early, which my Dr is pretty certain I will. I saw him today and got the run down of what I need to do and go if I go into labor. I've got my bag packed just in case! I don't really want to wait until the 14th.. 2 1/2 weeks just seems so far away. But I'm kinda scared going into labor. At least on the 14th, it's planned. I know when and what to expect. If my water breaks, it's all the unknown. Kinda scary.

I also think I'm holding back for the 14th because Kelly has been working so hard at Reagan this week. He's on his own now and he hasn't gotten into any groove yet. He's working 8am - 8pm everyday. I see him briefly in the morning and then right before bed at night. I'm afraid if I have the babies now, he won't get any rest and he'll hate his life, resent me. I don't know. Maybe I'm just scared. It's really happening. No matter what, I will have 2 babies by June 14th. I hope I'm ready!!

I'll keep everyone posted if any new news breaks... or my water!

12 lbs of babies!

Yep, that's right! I've got almost 12 lbs of baby in my belly!! I had a growth scan this morning and we got some estimate baby sizes. Baby A = 5 lbs 13 oz, Baby B = 6 lbs 1 oz!! BIG BABIES! I mean, for twins at 35 weeks! No wonder I've been in pain.

And it only gets better! Guess what?! My Dr has scheduled me for a C-Section on June 14th, 3 weeks from Monday! There is absolutely no way in hell that I can last 3 more weeks. I'm officially starting my LOA (leave of absence) from work on Monday because it's just too hard for me to work anymore... But I was expected that I would only waste 1, maybe 2 weeks without the girls. But 3! I can't do this! Is it wrong for me to be googling ways on how to induce labor? If my girls are already about 6 lbs each now, they may grow up to 1 lb a week... 9 lb babies? OMG! I don't know what to feel right now. I'm a little angry/disappointed. I know, I know... the longer they are inside the better, but I don't know how much more my body can handle.

I guess we'll see...

34 Week Photo!

34 Weeks

Thanks again Erica for making the decision for a pregnancy photo shoot! I haven't been very willing to get in front of a camera lately, but I'm glad you stuck with it and practically made me do it!! I had such a blast and you made me feel beautiful! I haven't felt beautiful in awhile what with this beach ball under my shirt, so Thank You!

I'll be posting many more photos on Facebook this weekend, so be sure to check them out! Erica did a great job styling me, posing me and making me laugh while she took on the photographer persona! She did an amazing job!

Way to Go Red!! I Love you!

34 Weeks

9 lbs gained, 31 in total

55 inches around the belly

minor contractions every 7-10 minutes

1 centimeter dilated

[ PHOTO TO COME ]

And so I've made it to week 34!! Heck Yes!! My body is doing good... other than being exhausted all the time. I had my Dr Appt today and I was dilated 1 cm, but high. Exactly what the "but high" part means, I don't know. All I know is that the Dr wasn't worried about me and he says I'm still doing great! The only thing really bothering me is my swollen hands and feet (they aren't that bad) and my super sensitive skin. I've developed a skin irritation on my belly, legs, arms and back. It's quite common but it's not harmful to the babies. It does however itch like crazy!! Oatmeal baths, lotion and Benadryl have been helping! -All approved by Dr!

I've started to go to the Dr 2-3 times a week. Once for my weekly Dr appointment and then twice for the Non Stress Test. The Non Stress Test monitors the girls heart rates, contractions and measures amniotic fluid. It isn't that bad... It can take awhile if the babies don't want to cooperate. I can't leave until the nurses see what they need to see. Baby A is always a show off and gives the nurse what they need... Baby B is of course a little lazy. She generally won't do anything unless provoked. A nice buzzer that they put on my belly. That's comfortable! Not harmful, but startling two babies in my belly can sometimes get annoying. Yes, I've started having contractions, but they are very minor. I don't even realize I'm having some. But again, the nurse said everything looks great and I'm sure if there was something wrong, she would not have let me leave. I try to arrange my Dr appt along with one of the stress test so I only have to go in twice a week, but sometimes it doesn't work out. Oh well, I should get used to the hospital!

Baby A is still head down, however Baby B is breeched. That being said, my Dr has recommended a C-Section to be scheduled at my 38 week mark, unless they decide to come earlier. Why a C-Section if Baby A (first one out) is head down? Well yes, it is true that I could deliver Baby A vaginally with the hopes that Baby B would turn in the process. However, my Dr doesn't want to take that chance. I agree. Do I really want to have Baby A vaginally and PRAY that Baby B turns? What if she doesn't? Then I'm going to have to have an emergency C-Section. I think it's better safe than sorry. My Dr and his nurses say that this will be the best for me and the girls. Am I scared? Hell yea, I'm scared!! But I can do this!!

I'm hoping that the 9 lbs I've gained in the last 3 weeks are all due to the babies growing... I've got a growth ultrasound scheduled for next Friday, so we'll be able to see how big these two really are! I'm fine with gaining more weight if it means it's going to the babies! I need them as big as they can be, so I can take them home!!

As notated above, my 34 weeks photos is to come later. I was lucky enough to have Erica spoil me with a make over and a photo shoot!! We're doing some fun editing and I'll post them when I can!

Love to all! We'll keep everyone posted... 4 weeks!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S SO SOON!!